Using a totally scientific research from our exclusive source (The Internet) here is our list of the best ways to stop your milk being stolen…..

Top 5 ways to avoid your milk being pinched:

  1. Go to and buy a milk bottle lock
  2. Add green food dye to your milk – but could you drink green tea? I had green tea once in a restaurant. Dreadful.
  3. Keep your milk in a baby’s feeding bottle – 2 bottle-teat squeezes for tea, 4 for coffee… totally normal behaviour in an office. No one will ring Occupational Health about you.
  4. Write “Breast milk” on the carton – realistic because most parents like to decant breast milk into an old milk carton. “Hello, is that Social Services?”
  5. Buy red top milk – it has all the flavour of tap water coloured with Tipp-ex so the chances are no one will touch it anyway.

So after completing extensive research spanning a period just long enough for me to finish my mug of tea, it seems these are the very best options the internet has to offer when someone asks “What can I do to stop my milk being stolen?”

In summary…. Treat yourself to an UdderLok!